Of spring rainfall
by ameane
Summary: Cancers were not first today, neither were Scorpios. But certainly Midorima Shintarou and Takao Kazunari were. Story about bookworm Midorima, finally acknowledging his feelings and jester Takao, being salvation.


**A/N** I am really sorry. I used 'as it is obvious' as Shin-chan's 'nanodayo'. I do not own KnB, as it is obvious. Please review.

After the game with Rakuzan I came home earlier than usually, and luckily my sister was already asleep. Having kicked my bag in the corner of the hall, I stripped of my shoes and entered the kitchen with an intention of eating some unhealthy snack. Sadly, after opening the fridge I found just some cabbage and dim light.

I cursed under my breath, leaning on the countertop. I closed my eyes - just to avoid looking at my hands that failed me. But my effort was futile, because after my eyelids closed the whole game started to came back.

I suddenly felt out of breath. I gasped for air, pushing myself upwards from the countertop. I ran upstairs towards my room, almost falling down at the top. After regaining balance, I quickly entered my room. If I hadn't remembered that my sister was already asleep I would have smashed them with all the strength left in my arms.

After, as quietly as possible, closing the door, I stripped to my boxers and threw myself on my bed. I don't know when I discarded my glasses. Curling up in the fetal position, I thought that I wouldn't mind disappearing right then and there.

I felt like someone was restraining my ribs, so I couldn't take a deep breath. My breathing became ragged and irregular, and it reminded me of the book I read about asthma. The problem in this illness is not that you can't take a breath. it is rather that you cannot fully exhale.

But in my case it was rather a mental asthma - I couldn't let go of the memories, not only those connected to the game itself, but also to the whole person of Akashi.

I prided myself in being indifferent and above all of it.

Mere illusion, as it is obvious.

The sunbathed piano room, and the slim fingers tapping the keys. A friend a longed for. Staircases, rooftops, changing rooms. The games of shogi. But it all crumbled, and I was left with a huge hole in my heart. Only after did I realise it was love, unrequited and tragic. And I promised myself to never again be hurt by it. But as beautiful as it is, love surely is a thorny rose. Today I felt like crumbling down, a building that lost its foundation. But there was one thing I was able to experience during this year - a real team bonds.

It has never occurred to me, until earlier today, that I was really a valuable member of Shutoku's team. Not only as a great player, but also as a part of the team. Seeing me falling apart, the Midorima, discouraged them. I felt guilt, heavy burden on my heart, and i just couldn't hold it together anymore.

As much as I looked cold and distant, in that moment I wanted someone to hug me. Someone to take care of me.

But my sister is nine and asleep. My parents are away.

But for the phone call in that moment, I would have indulged myself in the vicious cycle of grave thoughts.

I untangled myself from the duvet, and looked at the small screen of my mobile. Takao. I picked up.

'Yes?' I tried to sound normal, but my voice cracked ever slightly.

Only the sound of shifting answered me.

'Takao. What do you need?'

Again, nothing.

'Ta-'

'Shintarou' I couldn't have thought Takao would sound so miserable (though he must have been crying too), and my full name sounded so formal in his lips (in contrary to regular diminutive form). 'Can I… can I come to your place?'

I was stunned. The fact that Takao wanted to come to my house itself was quite surprising, but the way he asked was also peculiar to say at least. He almost never asked, he just did and then apologised afterwards.

'You sound awful. But I won't forbid you to come, as it is obvious.'

I hear him giggle, which was followed by a sound of steps.

'What are you doing, Taka-' I felt a usual pang of annoyance.

He was planning something! And then something hit my window, causing me to fall down from the bed with a loud thud.

'You didn't!' I hissed to the phone.

'Oh boy! I did!' he said sounding visibly entertained. I closed the lid of my phone, and got up from the floor (feeling a bruise forming on backside). I opened up my window just to (barely) make out familiar silhouette. The boy waved to me and I just shutted the window angrily.

It was miracle that i didn't broke my leg walking down the stairs without glasses. I was thankful that I always kept a spare pair in the second cupboard to the left in the kitchen.

Then I looked down on myself - yeah, that would be a great idea greeting a friend just in boxers. I let out an exasperated sound and quickly fetched a pair of grey sweatpants and a blue t-shirt.

Even though Takao was not yet around, he made me stop thinking about unnecessary things.

I opened up the door and went outside to open the gate for Takao. This wasn't one of my greatest ideas since it was winter and evening, but I managed to pull it off without getting severe frostbites.

We didn't say a thing to each other, just nodded. Takao looked like shit, and I'm sure I did too. I invited him inside.

'Sorry for intrusion' were the first words he said to my face.

'You must be cold.' I stated, and went to the kitchen with intention of making tea for both of us. I heard shuffling behind me and when I turned around Takao was sitting on the countertop on the other side of the room. I frowned, but did not say a thing. That die-hard boy.

I was just pouring the water into the cups, when my teammate asked:

'What do you think of me, Shintarou?' again with the formalities. So unlike you. I thought. Only after finishing with the tea, and giving one cup to Takao was I ready to answer him.

'You are an admirable player. A light-hearted fool. Hard-working. Exasperating attitude towards life. Good rickshaw driver.' I was not myself, telling him everything I thought. 'Supportive. Bad at making jokes. Perceptive, but sucks at mathemat-'

'I don't want to hear want I am!' he stood up. I angered him, but I couldn't fully comprehend why. 'I want to know what do you think of me!'

I frowned. 'But I just did that.'

He sighed. Turning around, he waved his hand. 'Then continue'

'Tell me what is going on. I do not seem to comprehend' I said adjusting my glasses out of habit.

That was a wrong move. Terribly wrong move. But none of the books on psychology taught me how to deal with regular social interactions, so I wouldn't know.

Seeing Takao leaning on the countertop, I knew he started crying. Be it due to the lost game, or my behaviour - I still did not know how to react. I hoped that putting my hand on his back would reassure him. But it seemed just the opposite - he started sobbing. I was really at loss. But then Takao turned around and threw his arms around my ribcage, hid his head in my chest. Without thinking I started to rub my hand at his back (just like I do when my sister cries). Only after did I realize how embarrassing the situation was and I felt my cheeks go red. I was really glad that Takao was still more preoccupied with burying his head in my chest than looking upwards at my face.

Then he stopped crying. My shirt was wet. His eyes were red, there were snots hanging from his nose and the absurd of this day just made me chuckle.

This must be some kind of a joke.

I laughed out until I had no more breath left. That was the first time someone saw me doing that. That probably also offended Takao - well just a while ago he was crying, and after seeing his face I burst into laughter. But i heard him laughing alongside me.

I read a book that stated that laughing must be a way of relieving stress. Then I realised, Takao was not as cheerful on the inside as he was on outside. I am a fool.

My smiled died instantly. I examined my teammates face with a serious expression. His smiled lingered for a while longer, but after seeing me doubt appeared in his eyes.

'I trust you' I said, finally answering the question.

And then he bursted into his usual laughter.

'Just tell me that you'll take the responsibility!' Takao giggled seeing my mortified expression.

It was alright, we were alright.

Once again I started to examine Takao's face. His refined cheekbones. Small lips curved into a smile. Straight nose. And then his eyes. Looking like the sky just after the rain, a little bit of blue hiding behind the grey cloud. But it was a warm spring rain, which makes the green sprout all over the place. I saw my reflection in his eyes and in that instant I felt like he could see my thoughts.

I felt like in that music room.

I was playing a piano, and Akashi came into the room. He hugged me from behind, inviting me for a game of shogi. I hit the wrong button, and frowned after hearing the terrible tone it made. But I turned around and when I saw the redhead's eyes I felt something inside of me cracking. I adjusted my glasses. Were were just in middle school and boys, but he stole me a kiss.

I adjusted my glasses.

This time I know it's love. But it took me a long time to realise that. Maybe too long. Please, Lady Luck! Don't let it be too late!

The moment passes, something in Takao's eyes disappears.

I read a book once, it was a novel (and now one of my favourites). It told the story of a college student, who reminisced all his life up until that moment. Living in the country and meeting his obnoxious, future best friend. Moving to the city, having a rebellious phase and dying his hair green, being abused by seniors and finally discovering that he was homosexual. He fell for his best friend, who was as straight as they come, as it seemed. He was helpless. I don't remember what happened afterwards, but at least the ending was a happy one.

A drowning man clutches at straws.

I surely felt like drowning, in my miserable life and my miserable feelings. And I clutched a straw coloured like a spring sky after rain.

Cancers were not first today, neither were Scorpios.

I lean towards Takao, for bystander it may look like I am threatening him. I saw his eyes go wide. The time slowed, our noses bumped. Deep inside I hoped he would kick me and run. But I felt his warm lips on mine. A timid peck almost.

Then I retreated, and looked into his eyes.

The rainfall stopped the crimson flames. Yes, indeed the rain makes all green plants sprout.

Cancers were not first today, neither were Scorpios. But certainly Midorima Shintarou and Takao Kazunari were.

I want to read a book about love which will not tell a ponderous love story, but one of failures and victories, of broken hearts and gradual understanding of each other. I think I may write one, because no one will know how to suffice my needs.

I was a fool, and I fell in love with a fool.

As it is obvious.


End file.
